Tanka
Silent grey mist stalksover verdant summer hills.Caressed by moisture,Swollen buds wait to flowerAt hidden suns first warm kiss.'Love beauty, it is the shadow of God on the universe.'-Gabriela Mistral
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- enjoyed this one Jean, I felt though that there were too many adjectives in L2.- love the idea of nourishing mists...Matt
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I felt the same thing Matt but couldn't think of an alternative. Now I have though and I've adjusted it. It does read better I think.'Love beauty, it is the shadow of God on the universe.'-Gabriela...
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this is a lovely piece of tenderest eroticism (or is this just in my mind?)-- very very nice and suiting my excellent mood today cassiap.s.: whatever you changed, it reads perfect now!
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Thanks Ophelia, gosh how strange! This is the second poem I have written where someone else has pointed out a second meaning! I hadn't intended an erotic reference but can see it loud and clear now...
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